Aunt Clara, may she rest in peace.

The following is a letter I have written to my fallen friend. My Dear Sweet Aunt Clara.

Aunt Clara,

I can't tell you how many times you were there for me.  You got me out of pickles!  I got you into them, and you miraculously always got out. I will never really know how you did that. You were always so trustworthy, even though I didn't trust you to move very fast in your old age, I knew you wouldn't let me down.

I remember the times I killed you... So many... Too many.. Almost daily.. That had to be so frustrating!  I have no idea where you found new life every time. You were the best Aunt Clara a girl could have!  Even with your door knobs quirks!  I loved you anyway!  I loved you BECAUSE of your quirks!  So many problems in your old age... so many... you always made weird noises and it was hard to wake you up towards the end.. especially after a cold night... BUT YOU ALWAYS BEAT THE ODDS! And boy were they against you.

I called your name and you were there.  You got lost in parking lots like any other old person and you always had a way of getting found.  You got stuck in the snow, I told you so many times not to play in it, but you always got out!  EVEN IN YOUR OLD AGE!!

It kills me now that you are gone.  It really kills me.  You were my partner in crime.  You went everywhere I went.  You literally are the reason I got anywhere in life.  I can say that you carried my burdens way more often than anyone else did.  I hope to see you again someday... I really do.  There will always be a special place in my heart for you.  It hurts to not have you near me.

Aunt Clara, I love you.  Don't forget it.

In the words of Abby, "Aunt Clara has been better to you than any man ever has!"  You can say that again. I didn't see any man come pick me up when I was tired and ready to go home after work!! But you Aunt Clara always did.

Thx. Luv ya. XOXO

Love, Robyn.

P.S. I'll never find another car like you. RIP

The new job.

Story time.

So today at work, lots of big things happened.  First of all, I don't work at a call center, not that there is anything wrong with a call center, and I really like my job; at least I do so far.  I do answer phone calls though... all day...  WHICH IS ALWAYS A PARTY, I don't care who you ask.  (Side note, if you would have asked me 2 year ago or even 2 weeks ago how I felt about talking on the phone, I would have overreacted and over-explained about how horrible it is. But a girl can change her mind if she wants to.) So of course I have a few stories from that.  

For example, something extra special happened at work.  I got my own desk!!!!

We're all familiar with the phrase, "with great power comes great responsibility", well same goes for a desk, with a great desk comes great responsibility.  So I was getting my own desk all set up, I thought it was all good, it was time to go home, I clocked out, I looked over and there it was.... a tightly wrapped chair mat.  I thought, "I'm not going to be THAT person who doesn't put the chair mat under their chair and ruins the carpet".  So I unwrapped it, started unrolling it and trying to put it down.... Guys, it was so awkward. That thing was hard.  It was hard mentally, physically and literally.  I had one edge stuck to the floor with my feet and the other edge pulled out with my hands using all my strength. And then I realized, if I let go, it will all snap back into a roll and hit everything around me... and if I don't let go, I'll be sitting here all day.  So of course I was laughing out loud, and no one was noticing to laugh with me and it was getting really really uncomfortable. People weren't even looking that I could tell. So I beckoned my friend over to help me and we got to struggle together.  Moral of the story is this:  teamwork makes the dream work.  Also, life is sometimes super awkward. 

Other than that, oh, and the time that it was my first day at work and I went to the restroom, walked in like a normal human and forgot to lock the stall because it was a space bathroom and another girl that was starting that same day started walking into the stall too.. while I was in there already.. But she was backing in while talking to someone outside the stall.  The whole time I was saying, "oh dear, um hi... sorry, dang... hi there! Yoohoo! Hi, sorry!" But it was in a mouse voice and she couldn't hear me. When she finally did hear me, she got out fast and shut the door and I didn't ever want to leave that stall again.  And to make it worse, we never joked about what happened after.  It became mutually unspoken of and we never mentioned it again. So there is always that uncomfortable tension.  We both know what happened.  We both know who's fault it was. And we both have mentally decided to not talk about it. 

So now you know.  You know all of my secrets. Sort of. Most of my secrets. Some of my secrets? Actually, this isn't even a secret anymore. So you know none of my secrets. But I will definitely keep you updated on what else happens in the office that hasn't stayed in the office.

Thank you for calling and have a nice day.

Life is in session.

I've wanted to use that title for a blog post for quite some time.  So today's the day!!  I did it!

Ok, well I have still been contemplating my life lately, and I've been setting more goals and such, and when I think of a goal, I write it down in my phone so I can remember it later.  Apparently "learn greek" is pretty important because I wrote it down twice.  But I'm not so sure that language even exists.... not to mention the country, Greece... does that even exist??  Does St. George even exist???  So many questions of my soul...

But I don't just write down goals, I write down all my thoughts that seem important.  I know that if I don't do that, I will forget forever and those brain children will die.  So that's how I care for my thoughts and impressions, I write them down for later.  Some are for "apologize to so and so" or "make cookies" or "the best is yet to come", sometimes they are baby names (it's not THAT weird), some say weird things I don't understand because I wrote them down too fast.  But at least it was a good idea.  It will eventually help me to be a productive human.

I sat down to the piano today to practice and it was stressing me out like crazy and I remembered all the years of lessons I took that also stressed me out, because I don't sight read and I don't know why that frustrates me.  But I got talking to my mom about it and she told me about a few times in her life that she got super frustrated and stressed and I just laughed so hard!! I'm heartless. But it was so funny.  I know what how she feels though.. sort of, like the time in 9th grade when we all had to sing solos in choir and I hated that and so when I did mine, I whispered it and no one could hear me.

But not today, it's time to take the bull by the horns.  If that's even how you say that.... What I'm trying to say is, it's time to stop joking around.  Abby has a book called Where Will You Be Five Years From Today? by Dan Zadra that is super awesome and inspirational and I have some friends that are particularly inspiring that make me want to not be scared of failure and what not.  (Because my fear of failure is possibly too big... but that's another story for another day).  So here goes nothing.  Gutsy Rob is coming out of the grave, did you hear she died?  Yeah, it was a beautiful funeral.  But SHE'S BACK!!  Warn everyone.  And close all the windows, she might try to jump out one again.

GUYS!  This is it!  LIFE IS IN SESSION!  Go learn to play the guitar (you're going to be sore), go jump off a bridge (actually don't, this is a shout out, you know who you are), go for a drive and sing your guts out, go for a drive and don't sing your guts out, talk to a stranger, hug your mom, make a scarf, climb a mountain, anything!  And if you see me on your way, TAKE ME WITH YOU!

And just like that, you're a big kid.

When I was little-er I thought, man how great would that be to just have a montage life and be grown up and be married and have a little family. I was 7. Boy was I dillusional.  Because during my whole life, it has seemed to drag on slowly, but looking back at it, it really has been a montage. It's gone by so fast. I feel like I blinked and now I'm 21.

A woman asked me the other day, "so have you graduated high school yet?" I thought, could she be asking this because I don't act my age? Or because I don't look my age? Well it doesn't matter. I was wearing massive sunglasses, but I don't think that had anything to do with it.

I think I don't act my age because I don't feel my age. And who really does? Remember when I said I went on a ride-along with my dad? Well I learned that night that you can't just sing Frozen songs while your dad pulls people over... because every cop car has cameras and microphones!!! Guys, somewhere on the police records is a lot of "can i say something crazy? I love crazy! All my life has been a series of doors in my face........"

But then I met a little girl on Sunday that proved the point even more. She was probably 8 or 9 and her little sister was maybe 4 or 5. The older sister was holding her little sister, stroking her hair and just taking care of her. She looked at me and said, "our mom is sick today with my 6 year old brother and I'm just trying to be like her." So she looked back at her little sister and kept stroking her hair. That little girl doesn't act her age either, guys.

But really, I've been contemplating 2015 and setting goals and figuring out a million things like bills, healthy food, exercise habits, husbands (good one, right?), looking into little houses, taxes, regular dentist appointments, ect.

AND HOLY COW GUYS, I DON'T THINK I WANT TO GROW UP!!!

My dad has offered to let me stay at home til I'm 35. And then even at 35, we will reassess... that doesn't mean I have to be married or out by 35. We'll just set a new age limit. This has been an offer for years. And I get all the mint chocolate chip ice cream I want if I stay.  Why would anyone want to pass this up?!

I really didn't mind having a bedtime, or a mom that made all my meals and would talk to the cashier for me, or would talk me through those confusing bank deposit slips.  Life is good as a kid. No worries.  No problems. Just fun. And chores.  So I think I'll wait a little longer before I grow up...

Confession

So I have to confess something... not many people know this... in fact, until now, only my mom, dad and Abby know this.... I have bunions. At this point, it's mostly just making the best of the time I have left. So I have named them. Because they are a part of me now. Betty (big one on the right foot), Byroniesha (small one on right foot), Brad (big one on left foot), and last and technically least, Blake (small one on left foot).

Oh the places we go... never a dull moment with those four around. Seriously, I'll just fill you in on all the fun things they do with me. Sadly, they don't get to experience life like I do.. but they live vicariously through me. So they enjoy it.

Well, since I've been home from Guatemala, the birthplace of my new friends, we've already done lots of things. For example:

We went to see Meet the Mormons, but turns out on Wednesday at certain theaters it's only $1.25 a person. So that was sweet. And when we got out of the movie, I went to the restroom, my mom was waiting in the lobby for me. I was looking at my phone and walked in, got into the stall and decided, first, I'll take off my backpack, so I stepped out and saw a whole line of urinals. And my first thought was, "When did they start putting urinals in the girls bathroom?" And then..... an old man walked in, saw me, and said, "this is the men's bathroom." And I said, "yes it is, I am so sorry". I got out and my mom was dying. She couldn't contain herself. And so I went to the real girls bathroom and laughed the whole time and the other women just pretended like I wasn't there at all.

Also, my bunions and I have been on a ride-along. Like with a cop. And it was going to be the best ever. It was great, but there wasn't anything dangerous... we just pulled people over the whole time. I got to help translate a couple times, but my dad actually speaks pretty good spanish. So he didn't really need me.  but it was a pleasant experience. I would probably do it again.

My bunions and I have lots of plans, and don't worry, I'll keep you updated on it all.

Side note about Aunt Clara, she's doing great. She treats me well. Can't complain.

Stake Conference

So today we had Stake Conference, it was life changing.  Best Stake Conference I've ever been to.  Crazy how a mission changes a person... Before, I probably would have enjoyed it, but would I have been changed?  I don't know.. probably not.. But today was so great.  So inspiring.

I was listening like a good kid and I found myself actually interested in what the people were saying, I was engaged in the talks.  That feeling can only be described as a gift of the Spirit.  I was listening and I thought, wow, Stake Conference is almost as good as General Conference... and then, it hit me... We go to church every week... why?  If its not all really good stuff, why don't we just have Stake Conference and General Conference every week?  Well, we don't, because, we have Sacrament Meeting every week... and that is the MOST important meeting in the church.

I sometimes try to remember my baptism, how I felt, what I was thinking, etc, but I can't remember.  Everyone told me to write down my feelings but I was a prideful eight year old and chose not to.  Now I regret it. But not too much.. Maybe I don't remember how I felt when I got baptized, but I remember how I felt last week when I participated in the Sacrament.  And that was awesome.  I think we take advantage of Sacrament Meeting sometimes and don't give all of our attention to what is going on.  We don't prepare ourselves well enough and we have just another experience... But each week, each Sunday, we can be completely clean.

That's a promise for everybody if we are doing our part.  We obviously have to repent first, but during the Sacrament Prayer isn't the time to repent.. it's during the week while we are making mistakes.

Church isn't for perfect people.  It's for the people that do need help.

Moroni 8: 8 Listen to the words of Christ, your Redeemer, your Lord and your God. Behold, I came into the world not to call the righteous but sinners to repentance; the whole need no physician, but they that are sick

I know that this is the only true church.  I know that because Christ died and suffered for us, we don't have to go through all that if we will just repent and follow Him.  He has set the path, and it isn't a path of laziness.  It requires all of our efforts.  It requires even more commitment.  I love this gospel.  I love consecration.  I know Christ lives.  In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

District Pictures from Guatemala