Lock Me Up

I've got this really great habit of breaking and/or ruining things.. Let's go through all (that I can remember that is..) of the things I've had a hand in breaking.

The fancy pants digital clock above the door in our living room, it was sweet.  It told the temperature, the weather,  the time (obviously), the date, and probably all of our Zodiacs.   I had just recently had a growth spurt and I was loving being able to touch the top of the door frame as I walked under it.  Little did I know the fancy clock wasn't bolted to the wall and I pretty much just dumped it off its hooks.  Broke the dang thing instantly.

The door going into the kitchen had a big ole piece of glass on the top half of it and one day my brothers were chasing my sister and I.  Paige slammed the door shut to keep the boys out and it shattered.  I know I didn't directly break that one, but I can't help but feel a little guilty.

The eight foot by eleven foot window on the front of our house.... I was going through a stage where I thought I was going to the Olympics with a softball team and I would be the pitcher... So of course I had to practice pitching, right?!  Against the front of the house.... I was doing pretty well up until I released a little late on my last pitch and it went right into the window.  I didn't get in trouble though, I was already crying too hard for my mom to really punish me.  She's a sweetheart like that.

Our little red car.. technically it was just a matter of time until that one went kaput, I just happened to be the one in the drivers seat when it died.  I was going up a hill and it just quit and rolled back down and across the road... into a ditch.  Totally not even a big deal.  A couple years later the car was fixed anyway so we're going to half count that one.

The blender.. one summer I got really into smoothies and chocolate shake/instant breakfast things.  Well turns out the burning smell that happens when you blend something for too long is a bad thing.. ?  Who knew?!  Not me...  So needless to say, I haven't had a smoothie in a while.  :(

I once hit an owl on my way to a party....  It was dark, I was scared, I didn't even think of slowing down or trying to avoid the poor bird.  Just ran right into it.  This is the remains of it's body..  just a sad smear up the windshield.  This is also the same red car that died with me in it.










Lastly, to the best of my knowledge, sweet little Aunt Clara.  She's dead.  Dead, dead, dead.  Did I mention she's the car I brought to college?  As it turns out, I left the interior light on all night.  She's not turning on for a while!  Whoops!

Well, that's pretty much it.. not to mention all of the bowls and glasses I have dropped and broken.. or the hearts of so many men *heavy sarcasm*, or even the bones of my enemies *more sarcasm*.  Welp, tata for now!

Freshman 15

Before college I had heard about the dreaded "freshman 15" and I, being impervious to the elements and what not, decided, "nah, I'm not gaining 15 pounds! I'll be healthy and fit and I'll exercise and eat super healthy junk!"... It wasn't until yesterday that I realized I think I'm getting closer and closer to becoming a typical college freshman.

Last night we had gotten back from eating free massive burritos and decided to do something way fun!  We started watching The Voice.  But as usual, I started wanting a treat while we watched it.  So I suggested cake batter!  But no, we ended up going with cookie dough instead.  We ate SOOO much!  Seriously, I thought I was going to explode from all of it.  Hopefully the egg I put in won't kill us (fingers crossed!).. but I mean, heck, aren't we supposed to do gutsy and daring things whilst in college?




I also haven't exercised once since we got here.. I thought about doing crunches yesterday but instead I turned on Mission:  Impossible and then fell asleep and ended up having a really solid nap.  I've walked up the butt long hill only a few times and I drive/take the bus pretty much every other time.  I've also eaten pretty much all of the food I made on Sunday (I believe I mentioned it a few posts ago.. maybe the last one..).

I have also eaten so many treats.  Like a bag of little Airheads, about a bag of Almond Joys, about a bag of Heath Bars, potentially 15 cookies, about 13 corn dogs (four of those happened in one day..), I had about eight lean pockets but I don't feel like those should count, I also ate a butt load of other things that are escaping my mind at the moment.

Needless to say, we've devised a plan that will help us maintain a girlish figure.  It starts Monday.  I think it will always just "start Monday".  That way we can always look forward to a healthy lifestyle but never actually have to start applying it!  That, my friends, is the perfect way to live.

Theories

People are animals.  I'm not saying that people just pee in the street or attack when they get a chance (well, some people do..) or even that people shed when they get scared (I've actually met people like that...).  What I'm saying is this:  We are legitimately dictated by noises.  We respond to them like we don't know any better.  Just think back to the days when you went to high school (which was basically yesterday), now think about how you reacted to the blaring sound of the school bell.  You're getting worried now, aren't you?  I'm glad you see it too.

I wrote about this on Facebook a million years ago but I decided, "well shoot!  Why not write about it again?"  It only makes sense, it's still an issue that gets me a little T.O.ed every year so I'll probably write about it several more times before I kick the bucket.  

Picture this:  the bell rings, oh, that got everyone's attention!  All of the young people gather their belongings and head to a predetermined room/area, they almost immediately sit down and listen for their first set of instructions.  Then awhile later the bell rings again and everyone is herded into a large and spacious room (or small depending on the school) where all the students get fattened up at a watering hole.  Then they go off again and respond to the bell like dogs.

New thought:  People don't get excited about things like they used to.  Now a days its almost tiring to get people to cheer up and act like they are having a good time.  And the ones that do get excited over junk only do because other people are doing it.  Actually, come to think of it, I just described myself.  Whoops!  Disregard anything and everything I've just said.  Ever...

People (bloggers mostly) use odd vocabulary.  Probably because they secretly want people to think they are super geniuses or something.  I suspect they just sit at their compy with a thesaurus and write things they don't even know what means.  Like "cornucopia".  Let's be honest folks, its a cone with a twisty tail that sits on a table at Thanksgiving.  Also, it's on The Hunger Games.  I don't think you can use cornucopia to describe something.  Maybe I'm an idiot and ya actually can use words like that.

Sayonora! 

We're Domestic

For a while now I've wanted to become a happy little cooker.  Well guess what?!  It's happening!  Boom shakka lakka!  I mean, heck!  I made a birthday cake and some tasty cakes frosting.  Then a few nights later Abbs made some of the best cookies on this side the Mississip.  We are becoming quite the bakers.

Don't even worry, tonight I went all out on dinner, I did ribs, mashed potates, corn, homemade gravy... and the funnest part was that I was basically the only person who got to enjoy it.  Most of the roomies were gone.  Typical.  The one night I make the whole dinner and no one is home to see it.  I also meant to take a picture to document it.. but I have the memory of a goldfish and I forgot to.  It was weird going from helping  with meals for 10 people to cooking meals for one or two.

A few nights ago I made about 12 dozen cookies for my brother so he could ask a girl to Homecoming.  It only took all night, but it turned out ok.. only about half of them were paper thin and potentially burned.  So I'm calling that one a win.




Oh! Before I forget to tell the blogging world, I made a hat!! Yes, you heard me.  A hat.  I crocheted it.  It only took about four hours, not a big deal, I'm getting to be an old woman anyway.

Reminiscing with Myself

Today I was doing all sorts of junk at the State Fair and my cousin/BFF, Anna, was with me.  I haven't seen her in geez, it's been about an entire lifetime (so like four or five weeks), and we were having so much fun.  But of course our jokes were reminding me of the good ol' days.  Back when we were fun and hip and aliiiive.

Like the time we went ghost hunting with some friends to a cemetery and when we got pulled over in while we were actually in the cemetery.  Holy smokes.  We almost died right then and there! The cop was being all grumpy and unruly and it seemed like I recognized him!  Well after about 10 minutes of that jokester scaring the heck out of my friends and I, my dad pulls up, who is also a cop and they laugh and laugh and laugh about how clever they thought they were.  My dad had set us up!  Typical.  I honestly should have seen it coming.  The circumstantial evidence was too incriminating but I was young and naive and didn't put it all together.  Looking back on that, yeah, it's funny but it was traumatizing and a little awkward after I had spent most of the time trying to convince my friends that "no, my dad would never do this to us!"

Another memory:  I didn't really get permission to tell this story, but it's been told in public several times  so I think (hope) it's OK.  Anna and I were playing the Wii at oh, three am, just having the time of our lives.  We were doing yoga and Anna was on the warrior pose, honestly, you would just have to see the pose to understand.  My cat was in a random box behind her and he kind of hated people... he launched himself at Anna's feet.  Anna's jumpy as it is and she flipped out when that happened.  Oh, I left out a vital piece of information.  She had to pee so so so bad!  Really, she was pushin' it as it was.  Not to mention the fact that she has a weak bladder anyway.  So when the cat jumped on her an awkward turn of events came about.  She fell over and peed right on the floor.  It was SO funny!

Last story:  I was at Anna's house this time and we were just sitting there talking and she confessed to me that she felt like we were growing apart.  That struck something inside of me that I'm not proud of.  It struck the part of me that makes me cry like a little baby.  We both just sat there and cried for a good 15, maybe 20 minutes.  We were pathetic.  Ok, so we still are.  We have taken to crying about every time we talk and/or see each other.  But how can you blame us?!  We grew so close!  Like sisters even!  Heck, today she almost told someone she was with her sister.





So as you can imagine, today was a really great time to catch up and pretend we were barnyard animals.











Also, we ate a butt load of ice cream, seriously though... Those containers were very nearly the same size as our heads.  And we at the whole thing!  In one sitting!

I'm Only Mostly Creepy.

College made me creepy.  I could end this with that, but I guess it's not really socially acceptable to take the time to make a blog post with one sentence.  So I'll just tell you the story/ies.  McSar and I have taken up people watching out of our downstairs windows.  It's really proven to be worthwhile!  The apartments across the street ALWAYS have people talking outside.  It's not just any people, it's people with lives!  Usually one girl with two or more guys around her just chatting it up.  We've tried to take notes on what they're doing over there so we can someday get loads of guys swarming us.  This study could take a while.  One day we even saw two girls sitting on a balcony and on the balcony directly above them were two guys... hunched over the rail... talking to the girls below.  Honestly... the lengths some guys go to just to talk to girls.

Anyway, McSar and I were just in our usual places watching out the window and a cute guy that happens to be in our ward was walking by!  Turns out he's actually a cowboy too!  So I, knowing how much Abby likes cowboys, decided that she ought to know about this.  So I just shouted, "Abby, cowboy!"  Whoops!  Haha window was open.  I've had brighter moments.  He heard my shout and turned to see us....  Yeah this could be why we don't have guys flocking towards us...

A couple days after I started people watching in my spare time I was walking back to my apartment with Abby and a window was open to a neighboring apartment.  The only logical thing to do in that situation was to take a gander at what was inside!  Well boy was it a site!  The couch was upside down and there was a bike just a chillin' away in the living room.  Abby's off on the side saying, "Robyn!  You can't do that, come on, stop it, let's go." Ya know, lots of junk like that.  Why was she so adamant that we leave?  Oh, ya know... because the neighbor to that particular apartment was out on his porch and WATCHED THE WHOLE THING!  Why?!  Why am I always creepy and awkward?!

Well, that's a question that will probably never be answered.  But until then, we'll keep taking notes on the folks across the street.  It's our best bet.  Adios muchacho(s).

Doorbell Ditching

About at week or so ago I may or may not have let in three guys to the apartment... at midnight... it was an accident!  I thought they said they were from B3... so I figured, they're neighbors, my dad has talked to them... Come to find out they were from V3!  Cool..  I could have so easily let in a few killers, thieves, body collectors, you name it!  A couple days later I had access to 25 balloons.  So Sara and I blew 'em all up.  For a party that we didn't have..  Instead we drew fun pictures on them and wrote the funniest of jokes, too.  It was super classy.  Then Abby and I dressed as dinosaurs and we were off to go spread joy and balloons to the apartments near us.

We got out there, taping balloons to doors, knocking, and running like heck!  It was turning out to be quite a lot of fun and this is where the V3 guys come into play.  We made it over to the Jersey side of this cesspool and started approaching their door... but they saw us right through their window!  Drat, right?!  They ran outside to catch the potential troublemakers (us..) and when they couldn't find us they gave up.  So we did what any normal person would do.  We went back.  This time was a massive success.  We even got away, but they came after us again!  Except more guys came a lookin'/running and they did find us.. But we seem to have this really great guy repellent on all the time.. so they took one look at us and went back to their apartment.  It's ok, broken hearts are cool too.

Luckily we did manage to get a precious balloon to a different guy's door.  It had two people (boy and girl, you can probably see where this is going), birds, a tree that said A+T in a heart, and probably some more lovey things.  I think we got the message across pretty clearly that B4 folks don't mess around.  No, sir.  We know how to let a guy know that one of us fancies 'em.

Well, so long Grasshopper.

High Stakes Bingo

A while back I did a pageant for a scholarship and my younger brother was telling me how I was selling myself and all that mumbo jumbo, he also said High Stakes Bingo was next.  Well guess what?! Turns out it was.

We get to the bingo game about 15 minutes late, which was perfect timing, and expected to just come a rollin' in like we own the place.  Nope.  Not even a little.  We were tossed out, technically we didn't really even make it in, but still, it hurt.  We were told to get in the line to wait for the next session which was about an hour and a half away at that point.  But anyway, we waited with some awkward people, some butters, a guy who didn't fake dead nearly as well as I do, and my future husband that may or may not be in a relationship with someone else already.  Finally, we made it into the ballroom for the moment we had all been waiting for.  We got our cards and crayons and settled right in.

The prizes started out small and gradually got bigger and better, but as they got better they also got harder to win.  For example:  you get bingo and go on stage to wait for two more winners.  Then the three of you compete for the prize.  Now, you're probably wondering, "why is this chica even writing about bingo in the first place?!  It's for old people, and the occasional sporty aunt." Well here's where this story get tricky!  Because the next prize was an iPod Nano, $25 iTunes gift card, and a watch/holder for the iPod.  WABAMM!

Of course I was thinking, "I have got to win."  Well, that time rolled around and I did get a bingo.  But me, being a lazy bones, decided "nah, I don't want to go all the way up there to compete for the iPod" so I just freaked out and told someone else to take it.  No one was taking it though... except the stranger man from the other side of the table.  He grabbed it and busted onto the stage.  You can probably guess what happened next.  Yeah, he won a dance competition and the prizes.  My roommates were SOO mad!  Haha!  Abby and Sara (that's right, I mentioned you) couldn't believe that I just gave it away like that.  So they told the guy that he owed me huge, like take me out to dinner huge.  So he asked if I wanted to go to dinner.  Of course I wanted to go to dinner!  But we left early and never got his name.  So I didn't get dinner out of it.  I do occasionally see the yahoo around our apartments (not being a creeper or anything, he lives there too....I think...).  I even said hi to him the other day!  And he made awkward eye contact!

That is all, young padawon(s).

First Day of College...

Turns out everything my parents ever taught me about safety and strangers went out the window when I moved to college.  Whoops!  My very first day was going so well, I woke up only 5 minutes late and I got to class only 20 minutes early.  Totes perf.  I got back to the apartment and started chilling/adjusting to the new lifestyle (making my bed, keeping my shoes in one spot, limiting my snack intake, etc.) when the door bell rang.  Whoo! Visitors!  Fun, right?!  I get to the door to find a semi-short black guy (I'm not racist).  He was quite the sweet talker... asking if I wanted to help him win a trip to Europe n junk.  He said something along the lines of "put a goo' word in fo' me"so I'm thinking, "sweet! I just have to vote for the guy online, er, whatere".

He kind of invited himself in and started having me pick children's books (?  <---- don't worry, that's what I thought too) I picked a few and he wrote down my selections.  Then he started saying things like "pretty lady" and a bunch of bologna like that while he handed me a receipt for $235!!  If you've just died inside (and outside) then you reacted much like I did.   In fact, tears started coming to my eyes as I realized there goes anything and everything I've worked for. :(  He saw my reaction and told me not to worry, I could use the "process of E-limnation" and pick only the book I wanted (it wasn't even for me... it was for a "charity") which actually only cost $72.  Oh joy.  I still felt like throwing up.  He asked for cash.  All I had was a check, I don't carry around wads of $72! Is that so crazy?!  Now, don't think I'm an idiot or anything, but I went and got the man a check!  I gave it to him in a moment of weakness!  It was all a blur and I felt like I really had no other choice!

After the guy robbed me with meh eyes wide open, I called my mom (she solves everything) and she was telling me all sorts of things I've heard before about how unsafe it was and how you never give checks/money/your soul to strangers.  We stopped by the bank on our way home from a Temple Open House and stopped the check.  Solid.  Only took $25 instead of the nasty pants $72.

I felt instantly better....almost... I still had to go back to my apartment and college life...and my new job.  Ugh.  It was the worst!  Calling people and asking for their opinion about junk!  If I wanted their opinion I would straight up ask their face!  Not call them from the other side of the stinkin' country!  One lady didn't even understand my "accent".  To clear things up here, she's the one with the unreasonable accent.  Anyway, that's not the point.  The point is this:  my mom even helped me quit the new job!  Victory!  I technically hadn't even started that yet... all I went to was training.  But the training was enough for me to realize that call centers are not the place for this girl.

After all of that, I feel like I learned so so much!  And it wasn't even from the classes.  I learned not to let strangers in the house, although I did let 3 guys in a few nights later that I thought were my neighbors... not so.  But that's another story for another time.  I also learned that a crappy job will cause too much stress.  Not that I would really know....

Well, that's about it for my first go at any type of a blog.. Galaxtar out.